When Scripture Hurts — and I Still Show Up Anyway (Deuteronomy 22)
This week’s Sex & Scripture Saturday was… a lot.
I filmed it in my car, on vacation, on a hotspot, with the wind, traffic, and terrible reception. So before anything else:
I’m sorry for the quality of the YouTube video.
The audio is messy, the service kept cutting out, and it’s not my cleanest work.
But I’m committed to showing up every Saturday — even if the setting is chaotic and my tech is struggling.
And honestly, the rawness kind of matches how I felt reading Deuteronomy 22.
This Chapter Is Hard
I opened the passage knowing it was going to be heavy — but I still wasn’t prepared for how much emotional whiplash it brought:
Crossdressing laws.
Virginity proofs.
Stoning.
Rape laws.
Accusations.
Honor/shame culture.
And the ache of realizing how many of these verses have been weaponized today.
I was sitting there in my car thinking:
God… what am I supposed to do with this?
The Crossdressing Verse (22:5) Hit Me First
I couldn’t ignore verse 5:
“A woman shall not wear a man’s garment…”
My body reacted before my brain did.
Because I know how this verse gets used.
I know who it gets used against.
Trans folks.
Nonbinary folks.
Queer folks.
Anyone whose gender expression doesn’t fit someone else’s comfort zone.
So I had to sit with the discomfort of that — and ask questions out loud:
What did garments signify in ancient Israel?
Was this about deception?
Was this about ritual purity?
Was this about identity markers in a specific culture?
Does this translate the same way today?
How do I hold compassion even if someone interprets it differently than me?
I didn’t land on a clean answer.
But I did land on something true:
Regardless of how someone interprets the verse, Christlike behavior requires considering the impact of our words, not just our intentions.
And Then the Virginity Laws… Whew.
The section about accusing a new wife of not being a virgin honestly gutted me.
The father bringing “evidence.”
The public shaming.
The threat of stoning.
The overwhelming burden placed on women’s bodies.
I found myself blinking hard, swallowing tears, feeling that familiar tightening in my chest — that sense of
How could this be in my Bible?
And yet, I also learned something I didn’t expect:
In surrounding cultures, a woman could be killed instantly with no trial, no chance, no defense.
Deuteronomy — as harsh as it is — added:
a legal process
elders present
evidence required
punishment for false accusations
protections that didn’t exist elsewhere
It didn’t take away the harm.
But it limited what was culturally normal at the time.
That tension is… a lot.
I Found Myself Wrestling With God
There was a moment in the video where I just closed my eyes and said it:
“I’m angry. I’m confused. I’m sad. And I don’t like this.”
I realized I’m not deconstructing God — I’m deconstructing the way these verses have been used:
to shame women
to control bodies
to justify abuse
to demonize the LGBTQ+ community
to uphold patriarchy
to silence survivors
And God didn’t run from my honesty.
He never does.
I Don’t Have a Pretty Bow to Tie This With
Today’s chapter didn’t resolve anything.
It didn’t give me clarity.
It didn’t soothe the hard parts.
But it did do something else:
It reminded me that Scripture is allowed to trouble me.
That I’m allowed to bring my questions.
That God isn’t scared of my frustration.
And that the heart of Jesus — the compassion, the mercy, the justice — is still where I anchor myself when the text feels sharp.
If you want to watch this week’s episode (again, sorry for the quality!), you can find it here:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pyOq30psFA